peac

The Eternal Perspective

Thu, 02 Feb 2023 04:07:38 GMT

Estrangement seems to be on the rise...

In recent months, I have noticed that PEAC website’s traffic has increased. Estrangement seems to be on the rise, and we shouldn’t be surprised. No family is perfect, even from the beginning. In the Bible, Adam and Eve became estranged from their father (God) because they were disobedient, lied about it and even tried to blame Him for their wrongdoing. If that wasn’t bad enough, their oldest son kills his brother (Genesis 3:1-24 and 4:1-12). Even the very first family was dysfunctional because sin had entered the world.

Throughout the Bible, there are many examples of parenting and families gone wrong. In the Old Testament, King David must flee from his own son, Absalom who is trying to kill him (2 Samuel 15:19-37). In the New Testament, God tells us that fathers and sons, mothers and their daughters and daughters-in-law will be against each other (Luke (12:53). Even knowing what scripture said, I was not in the least bit prepared, when my daughter turned against me and walked out of my life leaving me devasted, paralyzed from grief and unable to go on. Over time, I was rescued from my despair, and you can too.

It literally has been my faith that has saved me. The knowledge that my life here on Earth, the pain I experienced at the hands of my beloved daughter is only temporary. It is the eternal perspective that has given me peace and the ability to enjoy my life, even without my daughter. You see earth is not my home. My home is in Heaven and there…there (Heaven) is no pain, no heartbreak, and no estrangement. Truly my time on earth is very short and Heaven is for all eternity, so I view the pain, the trials, and all the difficulties I currently suffer as only short-term. I look forward to going home where my heart is no longer broken, and estrangement does not exist. Regardless of whether my daughter is in or out of contact with me, this belief has given me the ability to choose joy and not only survive but thrive in this life on earth.

It is my prayer for you that you too can find peace in your life, regardless of your circumstances, by having the eternal perspective. It is by grace that I have been saved and while I may not have ALL the answers, I am happy to share my journey, so please feel free to reach out to me if you would like to know more on how you too can gain the eternal perspective.

An Unexpected Journey

Thu, 03 Aug 2017 04:15:19 GMT

We often have to endure pain...

Sometimes we get the unexpected. When my daughter walked out of my life to join the thousands of adult children who estrange from their parents...it certainly wasn't what I expected. After all, I had given up my career to be a stay at home mom, sacrificed in more ways than I could ever list. I had taught her kindness, that people matter and to work hard. Our family ate dinner together and went to church on Sundays. I loved her, cherished her and tucked her in at night. Though certainly I know I did many things wrong...what parent doesn't...but at the end of the day, I was a good mom. I expected she would turn out well...go to college, get married, have children or at least a dog. It was what her dad and I worked for...dreamed of...and prayed for...but God had another plan for her and for us and it wasn't what we expected or even liked.

We often have to endure pain, be humbled to the point of humiliation in order to learn and gain the wisdom we need to grow. It's often hard for us, whose hearts are hurting for those we love and have lost, to see that there will be something good that comes from the unexpected. Though we may not see it this side of heaven, God promises us that He works for the good in ALL things...not just good things or planned things or right things...but ALL things...even the hard, painful, take you to your knees things...like when your child cuts you out of their life. It is that promise that gets me through the dark moments...the ones that invade my mind with thoughts of the unimaginable...like that I may never get to see my daughter walk down the aisle or hold a grandchild or something may happen to me or her before I get the chance to tell that I love her....unconditionally.

Though the unexpected is well...unexpected, it may just take us to where we need to go...somewhere we may never have gone if left up to us. Starting a support group, creating a website, blogging or embarking on forming a non-profit organization, weren't ever on my radar of things I would be doing. yet here I am...and it feels like exactly where I should be.

Are you running alone?

Fri, 28 Jul 2017 04:19:34 GMT

Remember, we are in a long-distance race…

As a hurting parent, you may be asking, “What did I do wrong? How could God let this happen? How will I survive? Where can I find help? Is there any hope?” Providing answers to these questions is why PEAC International, a parent led group offering support, encouragement and information on estranged adult children exists.

Remember, we are in a long-distance race….you have to have it’s a marathon not a sprint mind-set. You may have no clue as to where you are in the race…what mile are on. Maybe you have had a glimpse of the finish line and it’s just around the corner or maybe you thinking “what finish line…I haven’t had contact with my child in many years and I have given up.”

If you are running alone, don’t. Alone, we can be overwhelmed by loss, grief, succumb to obstacles and our fears but in community there is courage, strength and hope. When we share common pain and goals…there is healing. In community, we can find the encouragement we need to finish the race by doing the hard things we might not ever attempt on our own. We might need to educate ourselves, modify our expectations, alter our mind-sets, explore truths of who we are…. as a parent, in-law, spouse….and find others to travel with. Don’t run this marathon alone. Step by step, side by side we can finish our race…however long. If I can keep running, then you can too even if it’s uphill all the way. We can do it – together!